Here’s a summary: “Don’t victim blame..except to let them know that if they’d behaved like good Christian girls, they wouldn’t have gotten raped”.
Right…because that’s how rape works 0.o
If that doesn’t directly translate to “She was asking for it”, then I have no idea what does.
Also, drunk women getting raped is analogous to drunk drivers. And we need to prevent their terrible decision to get raped the same way we need to prevent drivers’ decisions to drive drunk. So fucking similar! They crash their *coughwillingrightthat’sthedefinitionofrape>.>cough* vaginas into their rapists’ penises. And the only way to stop them is take away the alcohol. It’s not…y’know…like it’s the rapist who’s doing the poor decision making and wrecking people’s lives. No, that’s definitely the girl who’s getting raped. ”Hey, man, don’t drive drunk.”…”Hey, chica, maybe you shouldn’t get raped to-night” 0.o
Yup. Same fucking thing. Why didn’t I see it before?/sarcasm
This is THE DEFINITION of victim blaming: “Trying to deal with rape culture without dealing with the underlying dynamics of relationships, sex, and alcohol is likely to fail. It’s equivalent to trying to eradicate drunk driving by primarily focusing on enforcement or well-meaning “designated driver” campaigns.”
"We need to tell the women to start not getting raped. Just having people try to stop others from taking advantage of drunk women isn’t gonna work."<-my vaguely too-angry-to-be-100%-rational-although-I-call-it-fair-since-why-respond-to-irrationality-with-a-rational-response-anyway interpretation
Rape culture is victim blaming and coming up with ten million rules for women to follow so they can feel certain they won’t get raped (and then still do). It’s excusing the rapist and putting the responsibility on the women. Saying that we need to address hook up culture and boozing (which, sure, smart decisions are cool. But sober women who love God won’t eradicate the fact that people still rape) in order to get rid of rape culture is just -wrong- in every sense of the word. The fact that you address those two issues means rape culture is alive and well among the Christians. So clearly that wasn’t the right answer.
PS, dunno if you can tell, but drunk driving is bad because the person who does the bad thing, the driver (who’s impaired) is risking other people’s lives. If you cut out the alcohol, they no longer can drive drunk. Only as poorly as they would sober.
If you cut the alcohol and hookup culture from women, there will still be rape. If someone steps in, if the culture (ie, your world views) change, people will not think it’s okay to blame women for their own rapes. And guess what…then there will be less rape culture. What a concept.
There is no aspect of hook-up culture that says rape is okay. Casual sex and rape are NOT the same thing. Women saying, “Yes you may have sex with me” to ONE guy or even a HANDFUL of guys is not women saying, “Sure, feel free to violate me against my will” to EVERY guy. Really nice try with that argument, there, though.
Temptation is not the issue. Temptation is normal, and no matter how good and holy and AWESOME you are, you’re going to be tempted (unless you’re asexual). There is NO level of temptation that correlates to rape. Rape is about violence and power. There are strong correlations that indicate people with those two personality traits are more likely to rape. Not people who are just really horny. Sure, being horny tends to lead to sex, but it does not make rape happen.
I understand that this is coming from religious people, so I’m not going to talk about the no-dating policy (because, really, if you’re incapable of seeing anyone of the opposite sex as a human being/ God’s creation just because you’re INTERESTED in them or grabbing dinner together, etc, I kinda have to wonder if you’re cut out to -ever- date…), but religious conservatism doesn’t excuse rape apologetics. Not one bit. If you think someone being devout is going to keep them from being raped, you’ve clearly never even vaguely interacted with rapists or rape victims. Even if they’re virgins and straight A, asexual, women, they can get raped because they’re in the same room as a rapist. Even sober :o (it is less common since alcohol is the date rape drug of choice, but I digress…). They can also get pregnant from it. So thanks for that theory, Mike Huckabee. Try again.
This is my dad saying that if I hung out with good Christian boys, I wouldn’t have gotten sexually assaulted (not that he knew I was talking about myself instead of women in general). Imagine if he knew about the other stuff. No thanks. I’m good with knowing that kind of behaviour is reprehensible and rapists are responsible for rape. And I was sober in two different instances. Don’t EVEN.
Note: Please don’t take this as me bagging on Christians. This is me bagging on rape apologists. I’d do it across the religious spectrum. I myself am Christian. I love God and Jesus and think it’s great to aspire to a certain way of life or have strong morals. But that’s not what this article is about and it takes an insane amount of gall to claim that by victim blaming (but, y’know, in a paternal kinda way where you’re only trying to get the women to behave better…) you’re going to get rid of rape culture (which kinda revolves around said victim blaming…), I’m going to call you out on your bullshit. Sorry, not sorry.
Other note: I’m sorry for only talking about the instances of men raping women. I’m very sensitive to the fact that men also get raped and, culturally, it goes mostly unaddressed. I was simply going with the “usual” picture of rape, but victim blaming and coming up with conditions under which someone can feel secure in their person applies to both sexes, as either can be raped.
I remember how I had never experienced a panic attack until I thought you stopped loving me.
And I remember how I had to leave work from nausea because I was right.
It wasn’t a waste of time to love you (maybe I should say isn’t), since I can’t help it, but it’s a waste of time to hope. I’ve learned that lesson already. I don’t have the time or emotions to waste on those kinds of feelings.
Wasting my time feeling awful every time Juro’s calls in.
Also been wasting some time on emo poetry like the shit I used to write in high school. Oh, boy. And yet I’m behind on all my classes.