So I was reading this article on facebook about how dress codes for dances (especially prom) are getting stricter. They said there can’t be cut-outs, slits up the sides, sheer fabric, no shorter than 3” above the knee, or plunging necklines.
Most of the parents had pretty similar responses: parents need to be more responsible/ involved with what their child is wearing, parents need to teach children morals, parents should tell kids things aren’t mean to be as sexual as on TV, parents shouldn’t let their daughters dress like hookers and encourage the guy they’re going to prom with to bang them. That dresses with any of the aforementioned traits are “trashy” instead of fancy and classy. One even said there’s no reason to ever wear short shorts. Oh, and that such clothing is probably why there are so many teen pregnancies.
Okay, wow, closed-minded much?
Seriously. I think girls who cake on their make-up and are clearly trying to hard to look “good” (which they tend not to) for the opposite sex are ridiculous as much as the next person. I do not think, however, that such a dress code tells students that the school holds them to high standards- it means they expect poorly of students, don’t respect their motives for dressing what they deem provocatively, and are trying to put off letting kids do that thing called thinking for themselves.
When people go out into the real world, they’re allowed to wear whatever’s legal. That means girls won’t always have administrators telling them off for short clothing, even though, I believe that past high school there’s more to worry about.
Yes, these kids are hormonal and maybe part of the group most willing (or even desperate?) to try new experiences, but if they want to do something, they’re going to do it regardless of rules. And their personality isn’t going to be changed by the demand that they wear certain clothes and not others.
Plenty of other people have noted before that clothing doesn’t make a person. Yes, it lends certain impressions, but that shouldn’t stop anybody from wearing something because they want to. Being forced to wear something they think someone else, be it teachers or boys, wants them to is stifling.
Aren’t clothes supposed to express individuality? I’m not even a fashionista, but I’d have been pissed if I’d wanted to wear shorts back in high school and an administrator told me they were too short.
How does it impact me if they’re too short?
People might stare? Okay, some people will stare even if you’re wearing a burqa. Horny guys are gonna look either way. The length of my shorts might increase the number of guys who do, but not wearing shorts does NOT prevent guys from mentally undressing you. I have first-hand experience in this matter. I wore baggy t-shirts and pants (what my sister described as me “dressing like a boy”, and I got plenty of attention). Also, even if not wearing shorts did get rid of the male attention factor and I chose to wear shorts, it’s their decision to look. I’m not asking for it. In my mind, I should be able to wear a grass skirt and not get any more glances than normal. I can’t help it that other people choose to look. Some people might argue that you’re “asking for it” by wearing “provocative” clothing, but they’re the ones who decide it’s provocative and therefore decide to take offense at it. It’s only as provocative as they choose for it to be- it’s their minds going to dirty places.
In Eden, being naked was totally cool. People are what makes nakedness and the body into some dirty thing. What about art? Why is it different for a portrait of a woman to be artistic even if she’s topless, but if a real-life woman went topless, she’d be a slut and an attention whore?
I don’t wear shorts because it gets hot out. I don’t wear them because I think other people will think they look hot on me (in case you’re wondering, I don’t wear them as a social experiment to see how many people are as closed-minded as the parents above, either). I wear them ‘cuz they can be pretty comfy, and I like the way they look on me. Just because.
I don’t consider myself a slut. I’m not doing it for male attention. If that happens, then it happens, but -I’m- not changing my attire because -they’re- the ones over-sexualizing things. I’m gonna wear what I damn well please, and I have morals better than most of those self-righteous parents who chide their children because of what they’re WEARING.
What does it matter what they wear?! Why not worry about the intentions?!
Geez, parents, are you so clueless to think people plan out every single action? I don’t choose when or how to breathe. I don’t pick out shorts because of some scheming desire to arouse random men.
Some things are just a preference. Once it becomes a matter of intention, though, that’s where parents can start going on about that ridiculousness above.
Some of those dresses weren’t even slutty, either. One of them made the chic look like a fairy princess, and that doesn’t really shout, “Screw me!” to me.
I’m not defending girls who wear very little clothing entirely. I’m sure, in high school, it’s very likely that it’s done for attention or because they know that skimpy is the world’s idea of pretty. But there are bound to be some independent thinkers (one can hope) who might just wear what they want, just because. Because it’s something they like on themselves. There’s nothing wrong with confidence, but you shouldn’t need shorts to do it. You can have self-respect and still wear shorts (sorry to burst your bubble, parents).
Even if they ARE wearing that stuff to be slutty, isn’t that their right? If they want to get nailed and regret it for ever, I say have at it. That’s living. Making mistakes and learning from them. Besides, as I mentioned earlier, they aren’t always going to have someone there to dictate how not to dress. It’s part of socialization to figure out norms by trial-and-error sometimes. Like, “Oh, I am not getting hired when I show up to interviews in my catwoman getup” (or, if you are, you’re probably a victim of sexual harassment). So let them figure things out. Give them a test drive of the rest of their lives.
All right, now to the complaints of the parents.
1. Wearing shorts or a dress with a slit, etc, does NOT indicate that a child is skanky or that the parent is irresponsible.
By the time prom rolls around, most of these kids are either adults or about to be adults. Some people like to do some extra experimentation around this time to determine who their post-high school self is going to be. Maybe that includes a pair of shorts or two, or more mature attire. No, I’m not excusing it, but they can’t decide what works for them until they’ve tried their options. Also, if the parents are dictating what the child should wear by that age, then they are absolute control freaks. By senior year, at least, parents should have REALLY eased up on the parental reins. If they haven’t, they have no way of knowing what their child is -actually- like without someone guiding them. That’s the real test of if they did a good job. If the kids go crazy, they clearly had some life they missed out on from the parents being some psychodad who got a boner when his daughter wore short shorts and therefore decided they were too provocative. That’s daddy’s fault, not hers. Yes, she may or may not be a slut, but it’s hard for her to know when she’s being told not to do things for the wrong reasons. But parents should let their kids, at least by senior year, start figuring out who they -really- are. Not who everyone has told them to be.
Yes, in middle school, kids still need some guidance. And I am all for long talks about morals and self-respect. But I don’t see what that has to do with what you wear. It has to do with WHY you wear the things you do. There’s such a huge difference, and it astounds me that none of those parents bothered to notice the distinction. Tell your kid that she might regret it if she whores out to every guy at school? Right on. Tell her not to wear shorts because that makes her a whore? Wrong-o.
I completely agree with something along the lines of “most people perceive x and y pieces of clothing as ‘slutty’ or ‘provocative’, but that’s if you’re wearing it for them. The thing about provoking is it means you’re trying to egg someone on. You can’t provoke someone by leaving them alone to make their own idiotic conclusions because they’re so brainwashed that they’re incapable of seeing that clothes are just clothes and any provocation isn’t some piece of fabric’s fault. Oh, but don’t dress like a whore for male attention, unless you want to be a whore.”
Children aren’t puppets for parents to dress, especially not once they get to high school. Yes, it sucks to think of your little girl growing up, potentially doing things you’d REALLY rather she didn’t do. But if that’s who she is, the best you can do is warn her, tell her the truth, and let her make her own decisions. Ultimately, it’s her life. Her life to enjoy or screw up, and who knows if our values reflect which way it’ll turn out. Just because something works for you doesn’t mean it works for everyone else. Dressing like a slut might work really well for her, and maybe she’ll end up with a loving, faithful husband while you get the lying cheat, huh? I digress.
2. Sexuality in the media
I don’t think anyone actually believes that people are supposed to look and behave like they do on TV. If they do, they’re setting themselves up for a sad existence. And I don’t understand why all these parents act outraged by “indecency” when their complacency is what allowed it all to become like this. It’s ridiculous acting like you detest every immoral thing on TV. Unless all these parents are puritans, but then I dunno what they’d be doing on facebook. I’m pretty sure it’s run by the devil or something/ sarcasm…mostly.
We’re all to blame for the poor state of society. I can’t honestly complain about the explicit nature of most TV shows because, hey, they’re just being honest. People cheat and people have tons of premarital sex (which, hey, I stopped doing :D) and act so proper when they’re just as bad as everyone else. I don’t agree with the morals (or lack thereof) portrayed by the media, but I can’t pretend they’re not rather representative of people’s morals around here. It’s not like the media -started- it. The trend was there, they brought it to light, and now people just accept it. That’s the bad part. I think acting like the media -makes- everyone slutty and horrible is ridiculous. It just makes all those things a little more socially acceptable. Because it’s just commonplace now. It’s not the media’s fault to contradict that. It’s people’s. They’re just too lazy to because it’s so much easier to be like people on TV and not bother to have morals.
3. Slutty clothes= slutty behaviour
Okay, really? By wearing a dress with a plunging neckline I’m going to be “encouraging” my date to screw me? Really? I think that’d be a mixed message, considering I’d told him for two years that we were NOT going to be having sex before marriage. He could just appreciate the dress because it’s flattering, regardless of which patches of skin are exposed. They’re all just CELLS! GEEZ!
You’re the ones who attribute meaning to these things. Stop letting it matter to you, and it’s no longer slutty! Since when is a leg a bad thing? They’re just parts of our bodies.
If a girl is gonna be a slut, she’s gonna be a slut. Changing her clothes is not going to change that. Conversely, if a girl wears skimpy clothes, it might not change the fact that she’s got morals.
I’d really like to hear some opinions so if any of my followers made it through this, I’d love some feedback. Agree or disagree?